Kitty Porn

The other day my sister and I were having a conversation.  She is the Executive Director of a community clinic for low or no income children.  She was telling me that one of their 13 year old patients was pregnant.  The father of the child, another 13 year old, has fathered two other children in his Middle School.  What does one do about this?  How can this happen?  I, certainly not naive, am dumfounded about this.  I know that children today are much more, for lack of a better word, stimulated than we were back in the day before computers, cell phones and computer and cell phone porn.  But 13 year olds???  Really??  What does one do to this boy to keep him from impregnating young girls?  Can he help support the children?  What are you going to do, take 50% of his lunch money?

The very next day, something occurred in my back yard that made me have faith in the male species once again. You all know that I have the custody of my 79 year old daughter's brain damaged cat, Elsie. Well, along with her I have inherited 2 to 3 feral cats, depending on the day.  One is a female white cat that I have named Blanca. One is a large orange male cat that I have named The Big Orange Mo.  Occasionally a beautiful blue Tabby shows up and his name is Jet Blue, and like the airline, he is rarely on time and not very friendly.

But, I digress... the other morning I was working in the front yard. I headed toward the back to put a bag of trash in the garbage cans and I heard a loud, dare I say, CATterwalling. Cat screams so loud I bet they heard them 5 or 6 houses down the street.  Senorita Blanca and The Big Orange Mo were gettin' busy.  REAL BUSY! I must admit, and I am proud to say, that I have never seen two cats doing the nasty.  But, I was fascinated. And by the time I could get in the house to get my phone to take a photo of such copulating, they were done.

It is certainly not rare for a feral male cat to get a little "pussy".  But what happened next was what I think is rare for the male species.  The deed was done and I expected The Big Orange Mo to run along, grab a cigarette, get a beer and brag to all the other cats about how he nailed Blanca. You know, like most men do. But in an unpredictable turn of events, I looked out in the back yard and there were Blanca and The Big Orange Mo lying face to face basking in the after glow.  And they stayed there for about an hour. They even let me get closer than 30 feet from them.  And The Big Orange Mo is no "Run Away Mo", the two of them have been seen together ever since.  It won't surprise me if he is in the delivery room with her and even dips into the "kitty" and helps out with kitten support payments. He's a stand-up Cat, that Big Orange Mo.

Yes, of course, the humane thing to do would be to try to catch them and get them spayed and neutered.  However, it is virtually impossible for these two wild "kits".  On the other hand, I bet we could catch that 13 year old boy and cut his nuts off.   That also would be very humane!!!

What would Betty say?  "Those girls need to keep their legs closed".  And then she would go on about me spending to much money feeding those cats.

Pee and Sympathy

Yesterday, I made my tri-weekly trip to see my 79 nine year old daughter at the "I've Lost My Mind And I Can't Get Up" Camp and take her laundry to her.  I went early in the morning so I could get on with the rest of my day.  I usually don't go early, but yesterday I needed to. 

I walked into camp and looked to the right and there were about 15 campers doing their daily chair exercise class. I was compelled to stare.  I couldn't keep my eyes off all the campers attempting to lift their arms in rhythm. It reminded me of a toddler "Mommy and Me" exercise class minus the pacifiers but including the diapers. Mrs. Langston had obviously used her Jane Fonda tapes in the 80's because she was quite adept. My daughter, however, not so much.  

I went to her room to start unloading laundry and the room smelled of pee. Seems she had wet the bed the night before and possibly the night before that.  She soon returned.  She was in a "mood".  As I was hanging up her polyester pants and putting away her floral pajamas, she started muttering about going home and how she didn't want to live there. This is usual, but yesterday it had a mean, bitter edge to it.  Usually when she goes on about this I ignore her and try to change the subject.  And I did.  But, there was such a sadness to her this day.

Suddenly there was a voice of an angel in my head.  It was St. Oprah of the Television Set. I remembered what she said on her final telecast.  She said that all people want is to be heard.  So, I sat on the daughter's new walker with cushioned seat and listened.  I let her ramble.  Same ole lines she usually recites that start to repeat after 5 minutes.  But I sat there and listened through a couple of cycles and nodded.  And finally, I said what I always say which is "I am so sorry, but the doctors say you have to stay here".  And I grabbed the load of dirty laundry and started my pee scented trip down the hall to the car.

Years from now, when you speak of this, and you will...be kind. (20 points and a case of Depends to those of you who get the literary reference)

What would Betty say?  "Jane Fonda said those hateful things about the war. But she had pretty hair."