The Real Politicians of the U.S.A.

In my old age, I  have become quite the political junkie.  In a nutshell, I hate all politicians, and yet, like the Housewives of (name a city), I can't get enough of them.  It amazes me that the men and women that we trust with our lives and livelyhoods act like immature children.  Politics, to them, is a game.  And guess what?   We, the people, LOSE!!!

The big game now is the Presidential nomination of the Republican party.  And, as you know, I am NOT a Republican, however, this is a good one.  This has given me enjoyment for several months, and I am hoping it continues until they select one of the buffoons to run against President Obama.  For those of you who are not so politically inclined (and I don't blame you) here is a run down of all the Republican candidates:

And we begin with:

Former Governor and J.C. Penney model, Willard "Mitt" Romney:  Oh Willard, Willard, Willard.  They all hate you. The Tea Party hates you. The Republican establishment (i.e. The Bushes, et al) hates you.  Only 23% of Republicans like you. And they only like you because everyone else is a idiot.  Poor Willard, you flip flop more than Mary Lou Retton.  You will probably win the nomination, but you are like the icky uncool good looking guy in high school -  we vote for you for Homecoming King because you are good looking and haven't done anything interesting enough to offend anybody.

Former Governor and the other white Mormon, Jon Huntsman:   Well, Jon, it might be time to bow out. You poll so low that some people don't even put you in polls.  You are the most sensible and "normal" of all the candidates, and I have to say, I wouldn't worry about anything if you were to be President... except that you want to repeal the Healthcare Bill and you are Anti-Choice and you are against Gay Marriage.  Okay, I would be worried.  But you are sensible and "normal".  Thus, you are about 3% in the polls. And Jon, you have no chance at a Vice Presidential nomination - a) you're a Mormon, b) you worked in the Obama Administration and c) you are sensible and "normal", so bow out now before you become desperate and start saying insane things.

 Congresswoman, Michelle O'Bachman:  CRAZY!!!  You  had your 1 week in the sun,and then the country discovered that you are an absolutely insane and embarrassingly out-of-touch woman.  Now you poll at about 5%. (Still ahead of Huntsman, who is....sensible and "normal".)  It would be interesting, however, to have your husband be First Lady.

Congressman, Ron Paul:  Well, Ron, you're nuts, but you are consistent.

Former Senator and Hater of All Things, Rick Santorum:  You are such a "hater". You hate gays, women and poor people.  But at least you're a Christian, and not one of those "cultist" Mormons!!!!   (And once again, please "google" his name).

Former Speaker of the House and Fat Head, Newt Gingrich:  Oh Newt, why are you here?  You are so unappealing.  Republicans (mainly yourself) think you are a political Einstein. Reminder, you were thrown out of Congress for Ethics violations and you divorced your wife and cheated on her while she was in the hospital bed with cancer.

Texas Governor, Dick Perry:  And once again, you had your 1 week in the sun, and you got burned. The country has learned a) you can not talk b) you actually are sensible about immigration and c) you are not as smart as George W, but you are twice as hateful and mean.  And that wife of yours - that girl will CUT YOU!
But we are not going to count you out -  you are mean and unscrupulous, thus perfect for Republican Politics!

And finally, Former Godfather's Pizza CEO, Herman Cain.  HOLY CRAP, Pizza Man, you are leading in the polls!!!!  Seriously??????  Hopefully your one week or two in the sun will not end.  It's just tooooooo good. Call me old fashioned, but I would like for my President to be educated, informed and experienced.  It is confounding that ANYONE even says out loud that they would vote for you. I have three words for you: "Neine, neine, neine!"

And there you have it, Republicans, have at 'em!  Sad thing is, at this point all of them could probably beat Obama.

What would Betty say?  "They've all got pretty hair!"