Well, well, well, it seems that our old friend the Far Right Reverend Pat Robertson has opened his ridiculously inane mouth once again. Remember he is the one that brought us the "facts" that God sent the Earthquake in Haiti because "their deal with the devil". Oh yes, and these nuggets: The gays (especially Ellen DeGeneres) caused Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans AND were the reason the attacks on the World Trade Center happened on 9/11.
Today I read that the Reverend has proclaimed that it is now alright for a Christian to get a divorce if their spouse contracts Alzheimer's Disease. He states that since marriage is to be "until death do us part", Alzheimer's is a death - the person with the disease is dead inside, so therefore, it is okay for the spouse to divorce them and move on with their lives.
Luckily, my 79 year old daughter never married. Whew! Dodged a bullet on that one! She doesn't remember what day it is, but I do think she would remember if she were married, because that schlub would be in her room at "camp" everyday! And if he wasn't, I would have an important part of his anatomy removed. And if he ever thought of divorcing her...well... I don't know what they would do to him in Iowa, but here in Texas....
I wonder what Nancy Reagan has to say about this.
I don't know, but Betty would say: "That is just awful. Charles better be glad that he died before me, 'cause if I went Cuckoo, he'd just be stuck with me!'
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
An Average, Ordinary Kind of Woman
Tomorrow, August 4, would be Betty's 85th birthday. I will be out with my 79 year old daughter tomorrow so I thought I would write about her today. She would like that. She always liked to be talked about. Usually it would be her doing all the talking, but this time I get to.
Little Betty Jo was born to poor farmers right before the Great Depression. Her father was a fun WWI vet with not a lot of ambition. Her mother was a stoic, responsible woman who delivered her mother's baby at the age of 3. Money was always scarce. Food was also so scarce that her little brother, J.T., died from malnutrition. But somehow Betty Jo grew up to love life and always be the bright light in the room.
After her high school graduation she, like thousands of young girls during WWII, fled the farm and headed to the big city. She chose Dallas. She, like thousands, got a job at the only place in town that would hire young, inexperienced women - Sears and Roebuck. It was her "college" experience. She lived in a boarding house in Oak Cliff with the other girls. Lifelong friends she made. Just like my college friends.
She met some boys during her "college" experience. Many boys. She was quite the looker and attracted many young roues that wanted some Betty. One of those, young Charles Howard, was diligent. Today we would call him a "stalker". He would wait outside the boarding house for Betty to come out. He would follow her around town. He finally got the courage to ask her out, and she got sick and had to cancel their first date. (She got the "mumps" from another boyfriend). He still pursued. And pursued. And pursued. She gave in to the Charles and they were married in 1948.
From then on her life was filled with children, work, church and friends. And talking. She was no mystery, that Betty. Everyone that she met knew more about her than they probably wanted to. She would listen long enough to get information to pass on to others. She would talk for hours...and hours... and hours. She sewed, cooked, canned and gardened. She loved history, especially the history of our family. And we have her legacy to keep forever because of it.
Living in her house is bittersweet. I still find pieces of toothpicks (a nasty habit) and loose pills that she dropped on the floor. I look around and see the bad painting job she did on the walls, the curtains she made and all the hideous knick-knacks that she would never throw away. I find bed linens that she had for over 30 years. I look in the yard and see years of work that is all grown up and dying in this 200 degree heat.
But mostly I see her life - all of it. I always say that to be such an ordinary woman, she truly was extraordinary. Obviously, I think she was. I've based my whole blog on her!
So, Happy Birthday, Betty! You still live on in me. And I am everso grateful.
What would Betty say? "A card would have been just fine". And then she would tell me that her nephew was born on her birthday and that the Queen Mother had the same birthday. Then she would go on about how her mother would save money to make her a birthday cake. And then she would segue to some unrelated story about the neighbor across the street who married an older man who just wanted her to take care of him. Which would lead to another story about... well, just about anything.
Little Betty Jo was born to poor farmers right before the Great Depression. Her father was a fun WWI vet with not a lot of ambition. Her mother was a stoic, responsible woman who delivered her mother's baby at the age of 3. Money was always scarce. Food was also so scarce that her little brother, J.T., died from malnutrition. But somehow Betty Jo grew up to love life and always be the bright light in the room.
After her high school graduation she, like thousands of young girls during WWII, fled the farm and headed to the big city. She chose Dallas. She, like thousands, got a job at the only place in town that would hire young, inexperienced women - Sears and Roebuck. It was her "college" experience. She lived in a boarding house in Oak Cliff with the other girls. Lifelong friends she made. Just like my college friends.
She met some boys during her "college" experience. Many boys. She was quite the looker and attracted many young roues that wanted some Betty. One of those, young Charles Howard, was diligent. Today we would call him a "stalker". He would wait outside the boarding house for Betty to come out. He would follow her around town. He finally got the courage to ask her out, and she got sick and had to cancel their first date. (She got the "mumps" from another boyfriend). He still pursued. And pursued. And pursued. She gave in to the Charles and they were married in 1948.
From then on her life was filled with children, work, church and friends. And talking. She was no mystery, that Betty. Everyone that she met knew more about her than they probably wanted to. She would listen long enough to get information to pass on to others. She would talk for hours...and hours... and hours. She sewed, cooked, canned and gardened. She loved history, especially the history of our family. And we have her legacy to keep forever because of it.
Living in her house is bittersweet. I still find pieces of toothpicks (a nasty habit) and loose pills that she dropped on the floor. I look around and see the bad painting job she did on the walls, the curtains she made and all the hideous knick-knacks that she would never throw away. I find bed linens that she had for over 30 years. I look in the yard and see years of work that is all grown up and dying in this 200 degree heat.
But mostly I see her life - all of it. I always say that to be such an ordinary woman, she truly was extraordinary. Obviously, I think she was. I've based my whole blog on her!
So, Happy Birthday, Betty! You still live on in me. And I am everso grateful.
What would Betty say? "A card would have been just fine". And then she would tell me that her nephew was born on her birthday and that the Queen Mother had the same birthday. Then she would go on about how her mother would save money to make her a birthday cake. And then she would segue to some unrelated story about the neighbor across the street who married an older man who just wanted her to take care of him. Which would lead to another story about... well, just about anything.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Hotter Than a Hooker...
Sorry dear readers, It's been a week since my last posts. It's so hot here that my brain has been par-boiled and pealed and made into a Potato Salad. (FYI: Mustard is not in my color palate.) And for some reason my computer has been like scrambled eggs, too.
We have had almost 30 days of over 100 degree heat here. And it's suppose to get hotter next week. All I want to do is lay down and have relations with an ice pack.
Since I had my heat stroke it was has been difficult to be creative. This past week has been semi-uneventful, except for the part where I stood in the front yard in flip flops and a banana hammock and hosed myself down for 3 hours. (Visualize, if you will... the banana hammock was a lovely shade of puce) I have been enthralled and nauseated by this debt ceiling crap. (see post below). And I made a meatloaf. So there's that.
I read about a woman who was kicked out of the Walmarts for wearing a string bikini. I do not know the physique of this woman, but I would more than guess it was not nearly as disgusting and offensive as the 300 lb women who shop in their leggings and crop tops. Just saying. Did I mention I made a meatloaf?
What would Betty say? "You better cover that bald head. You're gonna blister!"
We have had almost 30 days of over 100 degree heat here. And it's suppose to get hotter next week. All I want to do is lay down and have relations with an ice pack.
Since I had my heat stroke it was has been difficult to be creative. This past week has been semi-uneventful, except for the part where I stood in the front yard in flip flops and a banana hammock and hosed myself down for 3 hours. (Visualize, if you will... the banana hammock was a lovely shade of puce) I have been enthralled and nauseated by this debt ceiling crap. (see post below). And I made a meatloaf. So there's that.
I read about a woman who was kicked out of the Walmarts for wearing a string bikini. I do not know the physique of this woman, but I would more than guess it was not nearly as disgusting and offensive as the 300 lb women who shop in their leggings and crop tops. Just saying. Did I mention I made a meatloaf?
What would Betty say? "You better cover that bald head. You're gonna blister!"
It Has Hit The (debt) Ceiling Fan
I am here to proclaim Barack Obama the best Republican President since Saint Ronald Reagan!!!
What? He's a Democrat???? Really?
Once again, the Democrats cave in to the bully Republicans. Isn't he the President of the United States? Supposedly, the most powerful person in the world? Really??? He has to be the worst negotiator on the face of the planet. And by negotiator, I mean giant wuss!!! It all started with the Health Care Plan. He caved by giving away the Universal part of Universal Health Care. But I gave him a break on that because, at least, we got more healthcare reform than any other President in history. And then he caved by extending the Bush Tax rates. No break there, but at least he has another chance when they come to expire again very soon. But this debt ceiling thing.... COME ON! Did he not have the cajones enough to demand that they raise the debt ceiling like they did for Bush, Clinton and Saint Reagan? Or is the Tea Party just crazy and evil enough to smell blood and go in for the kill?
It's times like these that I wish that my primary vote for Hillary Clinton would have counted. Can you imagine how she would have handled this? She would have been Lucy to John Boehner's Charlie Brown. She would have grabbed that metaphorical football from under John Boehner's foot over and over and he would have fallen for it every time. And seniors, military families, people with disabilities and poor children would have never had to worry that they would have the football grabbed from under THEM!
One highlight of this debacle: The self appointed spokesman for the Tea Party, Joe Walsh (no, not that one) from Illinois, won a nomination for Hypocrite of the Year. Seems the "America needs to pay it's bills" screamer owes over $117, 000 in back child support. Pay your own bills, douchebag!
Other than that Mrs. Kennedy, how was Dallas?
What would Betty think? "I never liked Nancy Reagan. She seemed snotty". And then she would go on and on about Bill Clinton and how kids today have oral sex because of him.
What? He's a Democrat???? Really?
Once again, the Democrats cave in to the bully Republicans. Isn't he the President of the United States? Supposedly, the most powerful person in the world? Really??? He has to be the worst negotiator on the face of the planet. And by negotiator, I mean giant wuss!!! It all started with the Health Care Plan. He caved by giving away the Universal part of Universal Health Care. But I gave him a break on that because, at least, we got more healthcare reform than any other President in history. And then he caved by extending the Bush Tax rates. No break there, but at least he has another chance when they come to expire again very soon. But this debt ceiling thing.... COME ON! Did he not have the cajones enough to demand that they raise the debt ceiling like they did for Bush, Clinton and Saint Reagan? Or is the Tea Party just crazy and evil enough to smell blood and go in for the kill?
It's times like these that I wish that my primary vote for Hillary Clinton would have counted. Can you imagine how she would have handled this? She would have been Lucy to John Boehner's Charlie Brown. She would have grabbed that metaphorical football from under John Boehner's foot over and over and he would have fallen for it every time. And seniors, military families, people with disabilities and poor children would have never had to worry that they would have the football grabbed from under THEM!
One highlight of this debacle: The self appointed spokesman for the Tea Party, Joe Walsh (no, not that one) from Illinois, won a nomination for Hypocrite of the Year. Seems the "America needs to pay it's bills" screamer owes over $117, 000 in back child support. Pay your own bills, douchebag!
Other than that Mrs. Kennedy, how was Dallas?
What would Betty think? "I never liked Nancy Reagan. She seemed snotty". And then she would go on and on about Bill Clinton and how kids today have oral sex because of him.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
What's Up, Buuuuuuuuddy?
I am trying something new this weekend. My week in review - things that happened in the world, things that happened to me and/or just things.
In political news: Michelle Bachman has migraines and a husband that has prayed the gay away. She also receives those terrible government funds for her family's Christian Counseling center. Tim Pawlenty is so low in the polls that they don't even include him in the polls anymore. Governor Dick Perry has received the "call". And it wasn't from me. President Obama is ticked (finally) at the Republicans for holding the country hostage.
World News: A psycho tragically reeked havoc on the country of Norway. England is ticked at Rupert Murdoch and the powerful Murdoch-dependent elite are shaking in their boots. In a related story, Rupert Murdoch's wife is a Ninja Warrior. Amy Winehouse died and sadly, the world is not surprised.
In my world: Found a man dropping a log in my 79 year old daughter's bathroom. I had a heat stroke by just opening the front door of my house. I worked a bit trying to finish up my jobs. My dear funny friend, Heather LeRoy, drove across the country to visit me. As punishment, she made me go see Paulie Shore! Even worse, at a comedy club in Addison! My brother and niece had a birthday this week. I am very glad they were spawned.
And finally, today is the day of birth of my bestie, Susan Graham. For those of you who don't know her, she is an international Grammy Award winning Opera Star and I am VERY proud of her. She's been my best since we clandestinely met as Opera Chorus members in college. She has put up with my shit stuck with me through thick and thin (hair). She's a great gal and I will forever be grateful for her and for her letting me ride her coattails. We have experienced some amazing things together. Some we can speak of, and some that shall never be uttered.
Thus ends Betty's son's week of July 17-23, in the year of our lord, 2011.
What would Betty say? "I don't why these old men have to marry these young women. They never can be alone. All they want is a nurse or a purse". And then she would go on about how gray President Obama's hair has gotten since the election.
In political news: Michelle Bachman has migraines and a husband that has prayed the gay away. She also receives those terrible government funds for her family's Christian Counseling center. Tim Pawlenty is so low in the polls that they don't even include him in the polls anymore. Governor Dick Perry has received the "call". And it wasn't from me. President Obama is ticked (finally) at the Republicans for holding the country hostage.
World News: A psycho tragically reeked havoc on the country of Norway. England is ticked at Rupert Murdoch and the powerful Murdoch-dependent elite are shaking in their boots. In a related story, Rupert Murdoch's wife is a Ninja Warrior. Amy Winehouse died and sadly, the world is not surprised.
In my world: Found a man dropping a log in my 79 year old daughter's bathroom. I had a heat stroke by just opening the front door of my house. I worked a bit trying to finish up my jobs. My dear funny friend, Heather LeRoy, drove across the country to visit me. As punishment, she made me go see Paulie Shore! Even worse, at a comedy club in Addison! My brother and niece had a birthday this week. I am very glad they were spawned.
And finally, today is the day of birth of my bestie, Susan Graham. For those of you who don't know her, she is an international Grammy Award winning Opera Star and I am VERY proud of her. She's been my best since we clandestinely met as Opera Chorus members in college. She has
Thus ends Betty's son's week of July 17-23, in the year of our lord, 2011.
What would Betty say? "I don't why these old men have to marry these young women. They never can be alone. All they want is a nurse or a purse". And then she would go on about how gray President Obama's hair has gotten since the election.
Once In Love With Amy
They tried to make her go to rehab and she said no, No, NO!
And now she's dead.
What would Betty say: "That girl just tries to look ugly. I don't know why these kids get on that crack and codeine. She needed a spanking."
And now she's dead.
What would Betty say: "That girl just tries to look ugly. I don't know why these kids get on that crack and codeine. She needed a spanking."
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Poops! She Did It Again!
I was watching one of my favorite shows this morning, "Morning Joe". They mentioned a story about Brittany Spears. Her former employees and associates have come out with a story that Ms. Spears seems to have a propensity to pass gas and to have noxious bowel movements and is very crude about defending her right to her freedom for polluting the air and offending others. This, of course, could in no way be as offensive as the music she puts out. Talk about air pollution!
This brought to mind a situation that recently occurred. And it's kind of an iffy segue, but it's an interesting story, so get over it.
I was visiting my 79 year old daughter at camp. I had purchased some provisions for her and went directly to her room. The door was slightly ajar. I walked in and said, "Hey it's Kevin. I'm here!" She wasn't there, but much to my surprise I look to my right and see a man in her bathroom with his pants down to his ankles dropping a big "shidooby" on the floor. I say, "Hey, I think you are in the wrong room" And he said, "No. This is my room." I said, "No, it's not". He pulled up his pants and started walking out the door. I asked him what his name was and he said he didn't know. I asked him what room he is lives in and he didn't know. I went outside and got the nurse. She helped him to the public bathroom where he continued his trail of odorous destruction. By this time my 79 year old daughter came in the room. I told her what happened and she was very upset. She locked the door to prevent him from coming in. And we kept the door to the bathroom closed until the housekeeping staff came to clean it up.
I keep thinking about that poor little man. Not knowing where he lives, not knowing who he is, not knowing where to drop a "shidoob". And I try not to judge, because who amongst us hasn't had too much to drink, didn't know where they live, didn't know their name, didn't know where you should poop? What? I'm the only one???? "This loneliness is killing me...".
Betty's reaction: "She acts too sexy" (Brittany, not the 79 year old). And for the 67th time she would go into detail about her turbulent bowel movements (as she pulls down her pants rushing to the bathroom).
This brought to mind a situation that recently occurred. And it's kind of an iffy segue, but it's an interesting story, so get over it.
I was visiting my 79 year old daughter at camp. I had purchased some provisions for her and went directly to her room. The door was slightly ajar. I walked in and said, "Hey it's Kevin. I'm here!" She wasn't there, but much to my surprise I look to my right and see a man in her bathroom with his pants down to his ankles dropping a big "shidooby" on the floor. I say, "Hey, I think you are in the wrong room" And he said, "No. This is my room." I said, "No, it's not". He pulled up his pants and started walking out the door. I asked him what his name was and he said he didn't know. I asked him what room he is lives in and he didn't know. I went outside and got the nurse. She helped him to the public bathroom where he continued his trail of odorous destruction. By this time my 79 year old daughter came in the room. I told her what happened and she was very upset. She locked the door to prevent him from coming in. And we kept the door to the bathroom closed until the housekeeping staff came to clean it up.
I keep thinking about that poor little man. Not knowing where he lives, not knowing who he is, not knowing where to drop a "shidoob". And I try not to judge, because who amongst us hasn't had too much to drink, didn't know where they live, didn't know their name, didn't know where you should poop? What? I'm the only one???? "This loneliness is killing me...".
Betty's reaction: "She acts too sexy" (Brittany, not the 79 year old). And for the 67th time she would go into detail about her turbulent bowel movements (as she pulls down her pants rushing to the bathroom).
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